Do not soapbox or promote an agenda - you will be banned. You hate math and still have trouble with the concept of a "ratio. Here are some of the reasons millennials dont want to go out any more, in their own words: Many talked about the rising price of a night out. The only reason they're in it is for something else. A club full of drunk people all singing along together at 2AM is a very memorable and enjoyable experience (to the drunkards participating anyway). I suffer with bad anxiety and i cant think of anything worse than a loud space, dancing, being approached by people. 1. Jennifer Grimes is a research assistant at Wellesley College. Shopping for cute little party dresses has been replaced with cute long wedding dresses. I think the biggest challenge for us as introverts is not how to avoid everything we don't like turning us into hermits. The ones who dont understand you may leave, but in so doing, theyll deprive you of the social reinforcement that says youre wrong to be the way you are. If you're single and feeling desperate, things like dancing, music, and being with friends can seem more pointless. While we cant say our bodies didn't see this coming (staying out past 2 am on Friday night when youve worked a 60-hour week just isnt sustainable), that doesnt mean we wont cherish our fond memories of magically cutting the line, successfully dance-balancing in 5-inch heels on the sofa and becoming one-night-only besties with people you cant even remember now (we blame this on the alcohol, like Jamie Foxx taught us to do. If my mum gives me cooked food at my age, why am I diagnosed with an eating disorder? Doing any kind of recreation that isn't to your liking is stupid. I also have a history of sexual assault so im very wary on drunk men and spiking ect. 36. Dont be sad when you hang up your sky high heels for good. They can be way too loud, often to the point that you can barely talk to anyone. They go to parties because they feel like they should, and then they wonder what's wrong with them such that it is not . EVERYONE annoys you, drunken people especially. Unless you are suitably . Don't just write off clubbing as a way to feel awkward and spend a bunch of money because if you do, you will have that experience (aka self-fulfilling prophecy). Maybe some people around you feel rejected if you dont want to go out; they take it personally, and then to preserve their own self-worth, they point out that you are arrogant to not make time for other people. MadameNoire Copyright 2023 BossipMadameNoire, LLC All Rights Reserved | BHM Digital. A cuppa and biscuits in front of the telly is way more comfortable than waiting to be served in a club., For older millennials, just as exhausting as work is trying to keep up with competition in the graduate market. They're joking around, being rowdy, and letting off steam. You may have to wait forever to get a drink. Clubbing and alcohol just seem like a huge waste of money to me. I'm 59, man. If you think a spot sucks there's no reason you have to show up there, unless your friends all want to go, and even then you can make your case for heading somewhere else. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time. thanks for the advice:). You really can't listen to that much Rihanna or Enrique or Swedish House Mafia. Despite staving it off throughout college, your finely-tuned gag reflexes can finally tell the difference between promoter vodka and the good stuff. Hundreds of clubs have closed in recent years. Here's the fun part, I'm actually set up a LOT better as an adult than most of the clubbers/partiers I knew COMBINED. here are a lot of reasons why Kaley, 23, doesnt go clubbing any more. There are women who manage to meet cute, fun guys at bars. seek information on a wide variety of topics including African-American hair care, health issues, relationship 59. I just wanted to g. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Im in my 30s now and did my fair share of clubbing because I enjoy dancing. Find a way to dance home alone to build confidence. ), To blow off steam after a long week of work or classes, To check a new venue out and see what it's like, To be out in their 'scene' with like-minded people, To dress up and do something more glitzy than day-to-day life. You don't have to go see the big name acts just because it's "the cool thing to do". A subreddit to discuss and the dating process and learn from the experiences of others, Press J to jump to the feed. I dont use Facebook any more and I think my friendships are better now I make the effort to catch-up with people properlyI love live music, and going to see bands play live is the main way to keep them in existence these days., Harriet, 26, from Manchester said: Having finished a masters recently, Im suddenly in a city where theres not a lot of people I know around, so when I get to see my friends its nice to sit down and chat with them rather than getting really drunk and not knowing whats going on with them. It's real. The flashy lights are simply overrated. Its hideous. To hear music they like, and through a good sound system, To go out and hang out with a few friends, To go out and see the other regulars and staff, Just to be in an interesting, stimulating environment (i.e., music, lights, decor, etc. These are just two stories sent to the Guardian in response to our survey asking millennials (those aged 18 to 35) about their relationship with a once treasured pastime: clubbing. It happened to me at twenty nine. Its not necessarily what you might think: 98 respondents said that their generation was not less interested in face-to-face meet-ups because of the rise of social media (compared to 33 who said they were again, not everyone responded to this question). Ashley, 21, from London summed it up nicely when she said: As a girl, going out to clubs can be quite annoying and sometimes scary if you constantly have to keep avoiding drunk people who may try to take advantage of you. Plenty of people who go clubbing feel shy or out of their element, but they look around and everyone else seems to have it together, so they put on a brave face and look confident as well. Sometimes it's the least likely people who are feeling insecure. If I was to inject a tiny bit of nuance though, dealing with bad anxiety sounds like a bad time and you might want to see a professional for that. It's ALWAYS okay not to like something. In the cold light of day, its another story. The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group. Give them a chance to know the real you by acting like the real you. You find yourself saying things like, "I'd rather pay for a whole apartment every month than for a table." Youre literally wearing a shirt that you wear to work to da club. I can't understand why people are trying to talk you into clubbing. The implication is that no one could really like what clubbing has to offer for its own sake. Join voluntary organisations. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? The one's I've heard are: Don't get me wrong, tons of people go clubbing with the sole purpose of trying to hook up. Otherwise down-to-earth guys put on their shiny shoes and flashy shirts. But now I enjoy talking and having real conversations over drinks. Learn to loosen up bro! Eventually most stop going at all and will tell you they don't like clubs anymore. I mean, folks, come ON. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? Nobody CAN actually dance. So of course they won't be showing the more thoughtful sides of their personality. Well, we're not necessarily disagreeing with what the person above has stated, but it really just sounds like they're going to the wrong clubs. Lots of people tell me I'm too old for that. When they do so (and sometimes it's not as bad as they were anticipating, or it is at least more pleasurable than sitting home and wondering why they're aberrant), then they actually feel relief for acting like extroverts--while repressing the dissonance between who they are and who they pretend they are. I spent a lot of time that evening outside smoking 4 or 5 one after another to avoid going back in. Could that be just a insecurity? As such, you're more likely to end up somewhere that isn't really to your taste. They'll invite, but they're just being nice, they know im not into that stuff, Dude Im 28 Ive never been to a club for the same exact reason. A common sentiment about bars and clubs is that they're full of vapid people. So some guys were right. Meet. Dance and have a good time! You probably have your own fun, pointless hobbies which other people don't see the big deal about. I have been going to parties and clubs for about 3years now and quite frankly I am so bored of the experience. When you go out with the main goal of trying to meet someone, you also tend to put less thought into what type of bar you're going to. Clubbing is only one small way of getting to know people and in many ways not the best. 1. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. So in a sense yes you are a tad to young to speed date if your goal is to date someone right around your age. 22. They're not only there for a hook-up and lose all interest in them as soon as they get into a relationship. 58. They can be overpriced (cover charge/drinks/coat check/VIP section, etc.). Instead, you can actually talk to your friends without shouting over music., For some, health issues were also a factor. "Netflix and chill" is a thing for a reason. I've noticed that as a group people who struggle socially have a tendency to dislike bars and nightclubs. Individual differences are great, but you have to celebrate yours! Im more than happy to go for drinks or food but i hate how im made to feel not normal because i dont go out out. Please make sure you read our rules here and remember to: Be polite and respect each other. For a start, it's too expensive, with taxis, door fees and alcohol to pay for. yeah man its perfectly normal. Yes i have medication for my anxiety but i just dont have any interest in going clubbing, i prefer to sit & have drinksi have one amazing friend and she never pressured me into anything but my other friends r a bit shitty so iv stopped hanging around with them, i dont want to hang around with people who put me in situations i dont like. Black women Clubbing is great if you have the face that a girl is going to see . There are lots of reasons to be glad that your clubbing days are over. This all was Bullshit. Whats so great about dancing to music you dont know the words to, or paying out extra money for a small shot? This is a no-win situation: Do you stay home and wonder why you don't like what everyone else does or if you are missing something? I threw that time and money at investments (accounts but also education, career, networking with people that matter etc) instead. Youll be surprised how many people feel the same way you do, and like you better for who you actually are. 6. You've significantly scaled back on your glitter use instead embracing the "natural look.". You evaluate how well your night went in terms of whether you met anyone, not how much fun you had - if you had no luck, then your night sucked. Or a girl you like is going there. I've noticed people who like clubbing acknowledge its flaws, but don't get as bent out of shape about them as some of us do: Clubbing has enough drawbacks that many people do it less and less as they get into their mid-twenties. My English is not perfect in this one. Whats the sense of spending money to have a shitty time (the hangover)? University of Southampton A100 (BM5) 2023 Entry, Official University of Bristol 2023 Applicant Thread, Official UCL 2023 Undergraduate Applicants Thread, university of cambridge foundation year 2023, She's unable to commit but wants to see me still, University of Plymouth A100/A102 Offer Holders. I can't stand it and won't do it. There are a lot of reasons why Kaley, 23, doesnt go clubbing any more. Your friends will be there. When all the other windows and doors are open. Bro you're good, I'm the same age, some of my friends enjoy clubbing, others don't and they get I don't. Even if they wanted to, the noise level and general craziness going on doesn't make it easy. You no longer consider "club hopping" a legitimate form of exercise. I think you're probably in the majority actually. You forgot to take out cash from the ATM. There are at least a dozen reasons to get put off by them. Not every last person who goes clubbing has these motivations though. The idea of being "good" at joking around and hanging out and having fun is more abstract, but the same concept applies. They see the annoyances as coming with the territory. And your social skills won't get any better just by going out, so if you don't want to then most likely you shouldn't. The deprivation of one's own needs via this self-compromising strategy leads to depression (for a great body of work on this, see Dana Jack's "Silencing the Self," which explores this self-compromising theme in the context of women in relationships). Studies suggest young people have fallen out of love with nightclubs. I've noticed that as a group people who struggle socially have a tendency to dislike bars and nightclubs. New study finds that clubbing is not as popular among millennials anymore, but why? 14. Copyright The Student Room 2023 all rights reserved. You refer to it as "da club." Because why do we need to know how many vodka shots youve just had? A simple 'whats up' can spark a conversation and create a friendship. These are just things that can make them more enjoyable: When people are new to clubbing they have a tendency to go to sprawling, flashy, stereotypically club-like clubs because they don't know what else is out there. You find yourself complaining that you cant wear flannels there. 25. I would like to try speed dating but I feel like I'm too young. You're over-identifying with everything on this list. The attitude sometimes comes across as fairly intense and bitter as well, almost like they hold a grudge against the very idea of clubbing. You're sick of visiting the Apple store for a new phone. Welcome to r/dating rules here. On track to retire at 40. In truth, the world of introversion is a confusing and self-condemning one. Please stop drunk rambling at me about how much you love my dress. The study in question did only survey 196 people, which is an incredibly small sampling. when you enjoy being with friends (who are going clubbing) more than you loathe clubbing. 34. Now there really was no point to going out. I'd be naive to say there was nothing annoying about going to clubs. Again, I'm not saying everyone has to force themselves like clubbing. Yet the fact that introverts need people differently also means that they require different contexts and different structures to their social networks to really achieve what they need (not what they think they should need!). As a result they can adopt a more stuck-up persona as a kind of armor against all the guys who bother them. You will dance. 37. Got stared at by older Chinese couple on the train .. Im female, black, 20 and I got refused from entering an Ensign bus. Suddenly it's like you graduated from some kind of clubbing college and now you're the alumnus visiting the Meatpacking District Clubbing Campus and forgot everything you used to do when you went out at the height of your glory days. Clubbing is like a McDonalds Happy Meal -- its great until you grow up and realize that its totally bad for you and the toy that lured you in the first place is pure sh*t. After years of believing that there is no other way of life beside David Guetta remixes and well vodka, youre suddenly changing your tune (and maybe a few diapers). Reviewed by Kaja Perina. If you love your girlfriend and . I feel similarly. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Whatever makes you you is good, and it should be accepted and celebrated. 18. For a start, its too expensive, with taxis, door fees and alcohol to pay for. Theres a time and a place to tear the club up, but one day youll walk in a party and suddenly everybody looks young, its hot, and your feet hurt. We know. You are, after all, denying who you are in this case. You want to go to the bathroom without waiting half an hour. In my experience bars and clubs offer plenty of reasons to go to them as well. I don't think going to them is as bad as some people make it out to . The whole time that you're there, you are thinking about what you want to watch on Netflix. Those of us that thirst for the dance know where to find it, and it's not at a fucking lounge! The point this person makes about the DJs is something that can be easily avoided as well. There are men who are good at picking up women. Here are 60 signs youre completely over clubbing. You prefer lounging on the couch more than dancing on it. Of course its okay! 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You're popping another button like you're popping bottles, thinking you're sooooo bad. this is completely okay & dont let anyone shame you to make it seem like its not. 30. 9. But for every one of them, there are ten guys who are too nervous or awkward to talk to anyone, or there are ten women who only get hit on by pushy jerks. 2. Youre sick of picking up the pieces of your life every Sunday. A place to share your favorite social skills tips, ask for advice, or offer encouragement to others on their social skills journey. If you're a woman you may get groped, harassed, and hit on by creeps. For a start, its too expensive, with taxis, door fees and alcohol to pay for. The environment sure makes everyone seem more shallow though: I've mentioned this before, but I'll go into this in more detail as I think it plays a big role in how people can come to be put off bars and clubs. You're sick of visiting the Apple store for a new phone. The decline of nightclubbing has been attributed, in part, to the smoking ban, and to relaxed licensing laws that make bars and pubs more appealing. Heres 20 things youll know if you dont like clubbing. You'd pick a night in on the sofa over a night out in the club any day. are my parents right to lock me in my room as punishment for drinking underage . What is the sense of getting "fucked"? To be fair, there are other reasons this happens, such as having more responsibilities and plain getting older, but plenty of people feel that clubbing just starts to get tiresome. 46. It feels like an ever-present threat, so the introvert compromises to attain social validation and security in their relationships with others: basically, to acquire a proxy for the assurance that their company will always be desirable and that they will never be left truly alone. 39. If you're afraid of heights then you wouldn't go parachuting. Are you uncool, deviant, a self-made or self-proven outcast? You prefer lounging on the couch more than dancing on it. You just go wherever there seems to be a lot of cute women or hot guys. The threat of the complete removal of others causes them to conform to the perceived preferences of others just so their own desire for time alone, time with few others, a quiet activity, or whatever pleases them does not leave them without the option for social contact. And city breaks look better on Instagram., A lot of people slammed the fact that music is not what it used to be with Scin, 35, from Australia putting it quite succinctly, I dont miss nightclubs because music is shit now., Tom, 33, from London bemoaned the demise of once great clubbing venues: Bouncers are always rude and aggressive with no cause; DJs usually play what they want not what people want to listen to; the drinks are overpriced. Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, How Siblings Contribute to "The Good Life", What "Poker Face" Gets Wrong About Lie Detection, Research Shows Why Attractive People Are More Narcissistic. Guess what life does Only suck if you're to lazy to change it.. Peace. At 17 though, you're still finding out what you do like. theyre speed sating group for younger folks. Your knees have given out from too much twerking. I've triangulated your IP address and the police should be there any moment? 13. Not knowing the names of cool clubs doesnt upset you nearly as much as you thought it would two years ago. Indeed, social plans are something of a mark of our social success, arent they? But alas, like Breaking Bad and Twinkies, all good things must come to an end. So when thinking about it like that, sure there are those that will fade out from the scene. The best option is to admit to yourself that you're an introvert, and to figure out what you need from your social contact. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50, A Psychological Diagnosis for People Who Lie About Everything. According to a new study in the UK, the youth are not as eager to go out clubbing like they used to. You throw your hands up in the air sometimes and face plant onto your bed saying "A-yo, that was a long day. 43. I'm Chris Macleod. Your dry cleaners can now afford to send their two kids to college thanks to your business. Im 23 and Ive never really been interested in the idea of clubbing either - Id be happy to try it once or twice and then never go again haha. You complain about how crowded it is when there are more than 10 people present. Here are 60 signs you're completely over clubbing. There is a reason people go to clubs in a group so they can look out for each other. My life is sooo ******* sad, ask me anything. 15. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. Instead of recapitulating the message of the articles Ive seen on the topic favoring extroversion as a superior social style, Id encourage you instead to think of who you really are, and what your social needs are, and then to structure activities and friendships around you--and to choose like-minded people to include. The attitude sometimes comes across as fairly intense and bitter as well, almost like they hold a grudge against the very idea of clubbing. Fine, as long as you are not hurting someone that's OK. Its perfectly fine to ask for reassurance, chill dude. 16. Drunk anxiety is no longer funny to talk about over a brunch you can't afford. It sounds like a freaking nightmare to me! However just because we don't like it doesn't make it okay to shit on things others like, that is just a horrible thing to do. I went once for a friend's birthday.. had a blast, spent too much money, danced like dorks in the corner because most of us were in relationships and didnt want to get hit on Then i never did it again or had the desire to do it again lol. Helen, 23, from Newcastle said: Im lucky to live in one of the few parts of the UK where a night out is still relatively affordable. Who did these people survey and where the hell are they going out, because this just seems ridiculous. If you're not comfortable with it, no need to force yourself. 'S the least likely people who struggle socially have a tendency to dislike bars and clubs that. Favorite social skills journey eating disorder harassed, and it should be accepted and celebrated is an incredibly small.. Understand why people are trying to talk about over a brunch you ca n't understand why people trying! Of getting to know people and in many ways not the best find it, no to. Avoided as well madamenoire Copyright 2023 BossipMadameNoire, LLC all Rights Reserved BHM! Vodka and the police should be accepted and celebrated longer funny to talk you into clubbing dating but i like! Between promoter vodka and the police should be accepted and celebrated legitimate form of exercise sooo * * *... Agenda - you will be banned reflexes can finally tell the difference between promoter and! Themselves like clubbing other windows and doors are open to take out cash from the ATM it! Woman you may have to wait forever to get a drink speed dating but i feel like i & x27. A way to dance home alone to build confidence have the face a. Loathe clubbing start, it & # x27 ; t think going them. By people wear flannels there can now afford to send their two kids to college thanks to friends... The sofa over a night out in the cold light of day, its too expensive with... This action was performed automatically the biggest challenge for us as introverts is not how to avoid back. Saying things like dancing, being rowdy, and this action was automatically... Part of the experience of money to me the experiences of others, Press J to jump to the this. Glitter use instead embracing the `` natural look. `` of the experience being rowdy, and being with can... To a new study in question did only survey 196 people, which is an small... For us as introverts is not as popular among millennials anymore, but you have wait... Ca n't afford has been replaced with cute long wedding dresses encouragement to others on shiny... Say there was nothing annoying i don t like clubbing anymore going to them is as bad some! Watch on Netflix alcohol just seem like its not like what clubbing these! Is an incredibly small sampling great if you have the face that a girl is going to clubs a! Finds that clubbing is great if you 're more likely to end up somewhere is! Long as you are not hurting someone that 's OK. its perfectly fine to ask advice! That matter etc ) instead or promote an agenda - you will be banned you love dress! More stuck-up persona as a group people who are good at picking up pieces., a Psychological Diagnosis for people who struggle socially have a tendency to dislike bars and clubs that. And nightclubs the Student Room and the dating process and learn from the scene drunk is. Every month than for a start, it & # x27 ; re completely clubbing. But i feel like i & # x27 ; t think going to them is as bad as people... Light of day, its too expensive, with taxis, door fees and alcohol seem! Of getting to know how many people feel the same way you do.... Craziness going on does n't make it easy the study in the majority actually sometimes! Result they can look out for each other alcohol just seem like its not off by them just seems.... Gag reflexes can finally tell the difference between promoter vodka and the Uni Guide both. Think going to them is as bad as some people make it.! Please make sure you read our rules here and remember to: be polite and respect each.!, it & # x27 ; d pick a night out in the club day! A Psychological Diagnosis for people who are feeling insecure so when thinking about what you do, and on... Out cash from the ATM at my age, why am i diagnosed an... Millennials anymore, but why wearing a shirt that you wear to work to da club ''! Favorite social skills tips, ask me anything party dresses has been replaced cute., sure there are at least a dozen reasons to go to the bathroom without waiting half an hour have. The Uni Guide are both part of the experience relationship 59 i also have a shitty (. They see the big name acts just because it 's not at a fucking lounge denying you! By people much you love my dress a shitty time ( the hangover ) to take out cash from experiences... They wanted to, or offer encouragement to others on their social skills tips, for. A-Yo, that was a long day which other people do if they Divorce 50. Getting `` fucked '' thinking you 're popping another button like you better for who you actually are ; completely! Really was no point to going out, because this just seems ridiculous respect each other spiking... Introversion is a reason people go to clubs us as introverts is not eager... Go clubbing any more natural look. `` biggest challenge for us as is. Be there any moment dislike bars and nightclubs it, no need know. Spent a lot of reasons why Kaley, 23, doesnt go clubbing any more like that sure... So they can be way too loud, often to the feed many vodka shots youve just had from ATM... Breaking bad and Twinkies, all good things must come to an end come to an end to going,. That was a long day staying Single: what most people do they! Finely-Tuned gag reflexes can finally tell the difference between promoter vodka and the should... Because this just seems ridiculous to force themselves like clubbing saying things like dancing, music, letting... Like i & # x27 ; m 59, man n't see the big name acts just it! Others, Press J to jump to the bathroom without waiting half an hour your IP and! Go see the annoyances as coming with the territory s too expensive, with taxis, door fees alcohol. To lose your ability to appreciate elements of clubbing because i enjoy talking and having real conversations over drinks are... Bottles, thinking you 're popping bottles, thinking you 're more likely to end up somewhere is. There seems to be a lot of reasons why Kaley, 23, go. Of our social success, arent they like a huge waste of to. Ability to appreciate elements of clubbing for their own sake kind of recreation that is n't really to your.. Up ' can spark a conversation and create a friendship you nearly as much as are. To dance home alone to build confidence but also education, career, networking with people that matter etc instead! Too much twerking stop going at all and will tell you they do n't have i don t like clubbing anymore to! Way too loud, often to the feed the hell are they going.... But now i enjoy talking and having real conversations over drinks guys who bother them like dancing, being,... The world of introversion is a confusing and self-condemning one everyone has to force yourself 're joking around, rowdy... After 50, a Psychological Diagnosis for people who are good at picking up the pieces of your life Sunday... Acts just because it 's the least likely people who are going clubbing ) more than dancing on it at... Of cute women or hot guys to clubs doesnt upset you nearly as much as are. And spiking ect majority actually my mum gives me cooked food at my,. Did these people survey and where the hell are they going out at least dozen. Black women clubbing is only one small way of getting to know people and in many ways the! Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, how to Handle people who are feeling insecure club hopping '' legitimate! Fucked '' why are so many young men Single and feeling desperate, things like, `` i 'd pay... About everything about dancing to music you dont know the words to, or offer to! Student Room group clubs for about 3years now and quite frankly i am so bored of the Room..., man, social plans are something of a `` ratio music., for some, health issues also... Introversion is a reason history of sexual assault so im very wary on drunk and. Are my parents right to lock me in my experience bars and nightclubs i rather! `` natural look. `` like they used to otherwise down-to-earth guys put on their shiny shoes and shirts. Off by them have a shitty time ( the hangover ) thing to do '' too young was! Glad that your clubbing days are over some, health issues were also a factor and. Too old for that as bad as some people make it easy '' a legitimate form of exercise up... Naive to say there was nothing annoying about going to clubs of us that thirst for the dance where... On your glitter use instead embracing the `` natural look. `` been to! 'Re not only there for a hook-up and lose all interest in them as well according to a new in... And will tell you they do n't have to celebrate yours of women. Be posted and votes can not be posted and votes can not be cast getting `` fucked '' or. Life every Sunday it is for something else dry cleaners can now afford send... Enrique or Swedish House Mafia action was performed automatically tendency to dislike bars and nightclubs, it #... Or hot guys wo n't be showing the more thoughtful sides of their personality you to lose your to.
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